I wrote this near the end of May, but haven't posted it yet. Instead of posting it so far back, i will just leave it at this date.

I am only sharing this because i have held it back for too long. it is not done, at it does no justice to the way this day really went.

********

Literacy can only go so far,
Before hands and these eyes
Take over all talk--And actions scream out-
Well, if a picture contains
At least one thousand words,
Then the time we spent will
Remain remarkably unheard.
You see the fiction and facts, they
Cannot mesh here-
It is as straight as any line will ever be.

Our encounter,
Second to last
Was not met withe
An adequate farewell.
Childish nervous hesitation-
Pervading--Swells of emotion smother-
But the haze never escaped the chest.
Our youth kindled the flame that ached to escape,
But has now tasted fuel,
After this day fully commenced.

***

Sarcastic contradiction fills the air, humorous,
As wonder fills the mind,
Where will these wandering feet go?
Brought down to the grave yard,
transformed to a playground-
Scrapes on blue of concrete and glass,
Tightly knit webs unable to contain certain heights,
The will of burgeoning hearts.
There was no faking sense of fate or amazement.
Genuine uniformity prevailed.

I find you charming,
A beautiful flower with no equal.
Even when that retreat commenced-
The giants threaten to collapse under the stress of the-
Contrast.
White to black,
One horizon to the west, to the next;
but not this.
You are still blooming.
We must cover bleeding hearts,
As to prevent washing away of the momentum,
Carefully mended on this day.

***

Cilantro-
Leading the way to safety.
Race the storm.

Flee to here from rain-
Black fear covers up the sun.
I will sing to you,
Part your clouds and enter in-
Your ache in sky is now mine.

Pervaded the storm,
I now hold your heart so close,
Your comfort reaches,
Outwards; pull me into sea-
I thrive in such sweet clutches.

Forsake no longer,
Nestle so close for comfort-
Our bodies now mend;
Weary minds nearly one-
Safely bask in what has come.

Can you feel?
What we lay here in,
Is surreal.

Do you know,
If what we now feel,
Is sincere?

Believe it.
The lycan is here,
Singing fact.

***

If i kiss your mouth,
Will you melt withe me?
Extend those soft fingers,
Wreathe them withe mine.
Now is the time,
And the setting sun swells the horizon.
We are to our own bidding.
Your copper eyes glow--A lunar eclipse,
And your figure is in deep silhouette-
Savored now in my mind for many years to come.
I cannot get enough of that cunning,
Sly grin.
Take in that precious lust-
Breathe it in as deep as air,
It will commence and strain the lungs,
Overtake the bloodstream-
Divine prospects,
Proving what we have felt since the day we met-
About three weeks to date.
The score is settled now
Between two eager souls.

Hearts frantically skip beats,
And her breath becomes so heavy,
Blooming with unspeakable desire-
I cannot even feel anymore,
So warm!
I am a forge working a jewel!
Oh, but what a fool I am,
To work such unreachable depths;
So deep is her will,
I may never go back to my previous life.
I am pulled in,
Deeper now-
Frightfully content.

Under the surface i can now feel,
It is a pearl,
It blinds my sight.
So smooth and so crisp,
And my skin is clenched-
The grip of clammy hands will not let go.
Please! Never let go! Although,
I must leave these depths,
for now,
Surface comfort will have to suffice.

I shudder at your expense.
I would have given you my entire world,
Had the time been right.
But never let go of this:
That comfort, those dreams...
The everlasting desire to hold you so close.
Out of all honesty,
It felt as if you needed it,
Much more than I.
Your ache was contained for far too long.
Just please remember,
Dear,
I may one day need your arms,
A fine shoulder and chest, then
A precious kiss to seal the wounds,
To heal this patched up heart.

How strange i find your presence,
That transcendent sensation of comfort.
How I long for all you have.
Naturally forthcoming,
There is a delightful connection-
Not quite visible,
But i can taste it in your mouth.
For now,
We must remember the hardest part
Is not saying goodbye,
But it is letting go.
But only,
For now.

Excerpts

The following are simply excerpts from a larger piece i am writing. I am terribly sorry I am not posting it as i go, it feels wrong without it being complete. The things i write on the side will still be posted on the blog here. I don't want anybody to think i have stopped, because it is quite opposite of that.

***

Riveting this pale sense of endearment is the sum of choices that make it all possible today. Cherish your and my expedients, mother dear. I hope, still as an eager child will forever wait, that the world thanks you for bothe your insanity and imminent grasp of reality. Perhaps, with the best of aspirations, we will bothe turn up and correlate on great and influential paths.

However, lucrative thoughts always set in concerning, the above all desire for, comfort. This burning passion turns hope to ash, and never leaving my foresight, the winds carry it all just out of reach. And what of when i do get that comfort? I meet it merely to push it away! I am never happy with what i have, and for this, i curse our selfish ambitions for eternity!

***

The silky sheen of white drips through the window shades, carefully adjusted to perspire very little of each image; inside and out, to the other, and back again. Despite, Artemis can always manage to fix Apollo's gaze to where she pleases. Her hands are suddenly wreathing through the small slits in the window shade, Apollo guiding the way, to grab a desperate hold on the first vulnerable target. I squeal with delight--Oh, how i have been waiting for this moment on this hapless night! I step forward, fall to my unbearably weak knees, and crawl to her presence. I let those fair knuckled and slender fingers wrap around my neck. Artemis begins to wring my flesh as i choke on a curse, blaming my mortal persistence for staying grounded for far too long.

***

I believe that the time for us has come; the stars have lined up in such a way for this recent past. Our lives have fallen apart, in substantially different ways, to enhance our ambitious aspirations for fresh starts in the world. This is our grand opportunity to reach out and to take back what should have been ours so long ago. Like mentioned before, it is inevitable that our paths will cross again, and we will soar--together, for a time.

***

It may be shocking to some of you who are close to me what some of this is about. Others, it will not surprise at all, but will still be very informative as far as intimate and abstract details are concerned. I do not know when this piece will be done, but it is in the works. personal prose and poetry.

Drifting homes have plenty of places to go, and i rest with only what is on my back. At some points i sincerely doubted that this was going to happen. Eventually one finds a place they fit in, and food and shelter will come naturally.

The tactics and vices employed by certain figures are not enough to stop the heart from enacting what is necessary to survive; maintaining sanity and a sense of nutrition. We are a force to be reckoned with.

This summer has become much more planned out that anticipated, but i am happy with the work that i will be doing. Ultimately i am not the kind of person that can lazily lull around and mooch, so i will work for my necessities, but not in a conventional sense. This is about mutual aide and community.

update

pictures posted on the last blog entry. don't miss them!

Eau Claire to Minneapolis

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MMIKE!!!!!!!!!!!



The ride yesterday was long. I finally hit the road and was moving out of Eau Claire at a steady pace just before 8AM. Again, as always, it was all too bearably windy with the added joy of hills. This is a good way to burn more calories and carboydrates then i thought i could possibly have available. The math of it is scary, so i won't even get into it.

Luckily i learned a lesson from the trip to Eau Claire and did not make the same mistake again. I stopped to stretch a total of three times and drank more water in one day than i ever have before. I was hydrated, and i was eating as much as i possibly could.





I was meeting my marks later than i was hoping to, and i arrived in Minneapolis an hour or so later than planned. 105 miles. 13 hours.

Besides for the usual weather conditions, the ride remained fairly uneventful, with a few exceptions. First is the scenery. I took most of the pictures in the late AM and early PM. These pictures do not even scratch the surface of beauty. Passing through old neglected county roads, with a vertical incline of stone, dirt, and trees on the right and then a declining slope into pasture land on the left is quite a sight. There was so much to look at, i won't even begin to describe it here. Go for yourself. If anybody ever really wants to see what Wisconsin is made of, skip the interstate and take all of the county highways.

Other interesting interactions with my new favorite species of animals: canines! Many of these creatures, even when chained, persist on chasing anything that moves. Small dogs are much easier to outrun, and are not much to worry about as previously mentioned. On the other hand, young yellow labs have the stamina and ambition to chase, catch up to, pass, and then to cut you off. Fortunately, this one particular yellow lab was trained to some extent. When i pointed and sternly shouted (while pedaling maliciously, might i add) "NO! BACK!" as it began to cut me off, it immediately backed off.

Thus far, it has been an interesting trip.

Arriving at my destination to see Jenna again, i stretched, unpacked, and washed up. As an excellent hostess always does, Jenna made food; the best tacos ever. To add to the awesomeness, there was vegan-rootbeer (and rum) floats! Delicious...

Sleep was nourishing, but only to a point. I still feel ragged. I suppose i will probably be fine in about three hours....

Capture all fears and pain in the back of the throat, hack them all together, and eject them tastefully from mouth and catch the sum into cupped hands. Analyze the contents - they are not the terror many suspect. Lay them gently to then rest on the soil and work into the land. The sum as anguish will disintegrate into the many forms of nutrients the body held onto for far too long.

Encourage honest experience.
Determined voices have power.
Strive.

Bitter comforts these taste buds, vitalizing the body with a caffeinated sense of enjoyment. Realizations come swift and always unexpectedly. The time spent on conducting this journey and the momentum of traveling steed was not wasted. The deeds conscripted to arrive and this particular point was not at all in vain. All experience is consumed and analyzed by the mind, and later reviewed for vital decision making. I feel choices will be made sooner than later, and the load of racks and shoulders will be greatly reduced. I am filled with joy at this idea. There are no worries.

I find comfort in the strangest of places. I seek happiness where i cannot yet reach.

so soon... so close...

I will reach a point of firm ground soon, even if i must climb perilous cliffs at the beaches of this treacherous sea. I will find a place to lay the clump in my throat from the swelling in my chest and finally put it peacefully to rest.

My chest overflows with sorrow, ribs bulging and heart throbbing for something seemingly unattainable. My dreams are constantly contradicting what desire maintains as my conscious. I am blindfolded, gagged, and my hands are tied behind my back. I am plunged in water, submerged into the tepths of eternal black. I wrestle with panic and delerium, the chance of gulping for air never present. The currant is pulling me. I am tossed and shredded like a leaf in a ravaging storm, and my bindings are then broken. My hands are free. Peel the blindfold from my brown and what do i see? Tell me. It is not azure to orange fucking grey, that is for sure. I see nothing. I see everything only on the vivid canvas of my mind, painted in precious memories and penciled in beginnings. But here, outside, i can see nothing. I merely sense with my eyes the absence of light. Black would be too kind of a pigment to assign to this blasphemous empty vulgarity.

The escape must come. The sea cannot continue forever, and eventually this torso will be supported by hips to legs and feet on firm ground. This is by no means a once again situation. Le me make this clear, pristine as the waters wake i tread in, i will finally have something - somewhere - eventually, to plant my feet down and call home. This journey may kill me, but certain aspects need to die. In the very least, i can say that i tried.

My ears have never popped with the relief of pressure. This leaves a pointless residue; strategies of recovery to supply demand for movement. Only minor shifts in substantial pressure have passed from this skull to other parts of the body, but the sum has always maintained its own sort of equilibrium. The result has always been overwhelming stress, until now. This is the time to be out and to live unconventionally.

Most of the time, living is superficial. Meaningless things comfort the self just so it can eat during waking hours and to sleep at night; motivation to wake and rise and toil at senseless tasks for hours. And these, pitiful Americans, have it so easy! The people on the hierarchy below them suffer so much more, and they are the overwhelming majority. Yes, I am too one of this culture, but as one i observe a certain right. I denounce my faith in the putrid desires most call lives! I spit in the face of constitutional and industrial rights.

Fuck off. This mind numbing sense of serenity is not enough! It has never been and it never will be. I will steal it back. Drifting to the shores from an endless ocean, unable to see, is not enough to stop this ragged doll. Merely as a patched up child, that is the sight i need to steal everything - to begin a process of taking back what belongs to a people, a world, and all life as we know it. You can dump all of these bodies into this sea of sunken desires; some will still find a shore and break their bindings, while others will sprout wings from their backs and rise as angels.

Horns made from shell or bone, we will rally, and the feeling of alone will have to perish.

Love is revolutionary. Love will drag corpses from immortality so that they can lead one happy and mortal life. Love will strike the hearts of the young, the most vulnerable of all ragged minds.

just please, take the empty away. One ray of light is all we need to find shore...

***

Facing certain cords of distress,
Be careful-
Do not pull so hard,
Or my heart and guts will flush-
Flesh will flail onto the pavement,
And once again,
Humpty Dumpty will need to be put back together again.
If you just so happen to pull the correct cord,
I will reveal to you-
Euphoria.
Eureka!
All loves of the world,
And the blemishes covered-
They will be unveiled-
One must prevail
And another may proceed.
Take the chance of the cords,
And one just might succeed.

***

Echinacea-
Revel in the digestive tract.
Show this soul your wrath-
Revitalization.
Share the plan with doubt,
And then coincide.
Everything has a special way,
Of simply,
Working out.