August 30; 2008

How lonely does the heart become, before it removes itself from the time and place, from hand to hand and mind to sky, trapped in hell--Choking on a martyr's blood--Throbbing in thighs that barely hold the body up against the torments a sole mind could not tolerate.

Some hope to die alone, as to not pass on the bearing, the quell, of rasping lungs drawing the final gasps of life and of hope.

In these times, i become less of the self i knew and more of the person to come--Discrepancies loom! but yet here i remain. This is the sense of adulthood that all must pass through. A smokescreen that blinds until you reach a mist--Moist and sweet, but deceiving at best. Do not worry, it pains even the best!

Orion guides me through the only few acceptable courses. how i wish i could but see the hunter's trying face again.

***

I could spoon feed you the most delightful word, fruitful phrases fueling hopes of better times in places, but instead i should be straight forward about how i feel; I suck the sap of sin from devilish pines--I seek vices, and can honestly be nothing but a vice, without deceiving your pure intentions and youthful ambitions

I seek your smooth reprise of warm and firm flesh, to seek comfort in your grasp--Arm in arm. I want to caress you, scalp to shoulders, down to hips and toes. These finger tips and lips can soothe your essence in unimaginable ways--I touch more than your body! because i seek your soul; there can be absolutely no commitment. This heart is much to ragged for such sequential roles of modern and conventional life. But for those like me, it is acceptable to love more than one soul, remember this!

Ambivalent rides out the storm, seeking many lands when the sea remains calm. The tripics ravage and transform an undying whim of change. Sensations emerge, leading ambivalent to a more and sullen experienced fate.

***
August 31; 2008

I am figuring where i'm going, take which route from here to get there. And when i arrive, i will realize this is only one of many ways and it is not enough. Sometimes the answer cannot be found with your keys or thumb to an automobile, but may simply rest a brisk walk from the home, only one or two miles to go. Take but what we needed to get what is sought in one time.

You see, the key to any prize winning contest is not the who or whence you came, but the constant determination of meaningful goals--And the expedients reach out and take

Departure for better pastures, more suitable for grazing that this mind requires to go onward.

***
September 1; 2008

Intermediate glares back as memory looms, untangible--Memory fades--It blurs along the lines of in and out. Misery feeds on emotion such as the prizes emitted now, gives gifts of such sultry denial! This should be over by now!

Clearly, what is left to face is insurmountable compared to the grace i have already slipped past fate with. It is safe to assume i have hardly scathed the surface of what life truly is.

And yet...I am passing these who are already dead, past their chances and hearty lives worth living--or the lack there of...