At The Grand Ave. Cafe

As expected, i made the ride very quickly, and although the wind was rough, my body was revitalized from sleep. The wind was gusting awfully, but the height of hills decreased drastically. Being relatively flat, the hills that did reside on the traveled land were light and rolling - there was always more than one.

The highlight of the ride was when i was going west on County Highway CC into Altoona. On the opposite side of the road stood a shitzu. I cautiously watched it, because everybody knows what dogs think when vehicles ride past. Even little dogs can be capable of a lot, so when i started pedalling for my life, i was worried about being hurt or hurting the dog. The chase commenced. The dog began running towards me at the crest of a hill, going down, so naturally i gained a head start. There wouldn't have been anything to worry about, except what i was descending upon was a hill even higher then the first. I was unsure how long i could maintain the momentum and the head start. As ambitious as this pursuing creature was, it was all bark and no bite. It chased after me for much longer then the pair of dogs yesterday, but had quite without ever tasting rubber, steel, or flesh.

Scooter, i think i am going to get some pepper spray before i leave Eau Claire.

***

Ambition Screams,
The tast of stale coffee looms,
Welcome.
Rest here after one-hundred and twenty miles of hard work.
Atleast enjoy the company-
Companions of old,
And seek refuge in the arms of Eau Claire,
City of the Chippewa Valley

Doves

The morning dove has always been a familiar creature to me, and their call stands far above the rest at all times of the day. The birds have been singing for hours now, and the depth and layers of their call suggest they go on for atleast as far as i can hear.

It is chilly this morning, and i have yet to convince myself to rise, although the sooner i leave, the less wind i have to deal with. I have plenty of time to reach my mark today, so i am not worried, but i do need to conserve energy for this evening. There will be no rushing today. This will not be a day of racing the sun from horizon to horizon. I will simply be trying to reach Eau Claire before the next storm does, supposedly by early afternoon.

Farewell Stevens Point

Starting with minor air issues, i made a phone call to Kathy at Appleton Bicycle to help me figure out the issue i was having with my pump valve. Apparently it is a universal (presta/shreider) valve pump, but with the head needs to be adjusted for presta. Veola! I was on the road by 945AM.

Stevens Point was a lot of fun, especially because Kayla and Stacey had decided they were not going to procrastinate just for me! They did their homework before my arrival, which saved them a substantial amount of grief for finals week. Without the grief, there was plenty of time for the rediculous that always ensues in Stevens Point.

Dorm life was great as usual; fun kids, plenty of food, and a good place to sleep. The library, Upper/Lower Debot, studying, popcorn from the stove every night, Schmeakly, wines, being in pain from laughter (and that being the source of a vicious cycle leading to more laughter), and so many other things i could go on and on about.

Having internet access made available the near completion of my solo album, conveniently because Jake was online! I have thanked Jake for making this opportunity possible, but i figured it should be public also. Thank you so much for everything Jacob! I will be posting distro information as it becomes available.

Friendships were strengthened on this stop, but i also made a new friend! Her and i had an interesting connection, which some of my critics may call typical. Despite of what they think, i believe this meeting was special in its own regard. Lesson learned; when somebody is seen every day for several days, and their existance shines with a certain something, talk to them the first chance you get! With that, it was great being able to get to know somebody new. That really fortifies one of the many points of this trip; meeting new people, learning, teaching, to and to become inspired.

Goodbyes are always hard, and the atmosphere at SP was blooming with farewells, sorrow, and relief. The only goodbye i really want to point out is mine to Rachel. Although it is not a goodbye forever, i hope she knows how special she is to me and how significant having those last moments with her are. And Kayla, don't forget, you're like a sister to me! Don't ever forget! Stacey, i will see you in Madtown! Emily, we will rock Minneapolis for a day. The rest of you SP kids will be seen next spring, so good luck with whatever you do and wherever you go.

***

The sun has faded, and the lined paper capturing thought becomes nearly impossible to see. Only vague representations of words can be seen, and it is a struggle to keep them from overlapping. My lids become ever more heavy, and the rest from blinking will soon no longer be adequate for life.

There is an orchestra playing here, and i have a balcony seat above the pit of the musical marsh. The tempo is as steady as the ran can fall, with percussion from gusts of wind and an occasional set of curious footsteps. There is such depth here in this moment, movement in the woodwind and brass, that i would not even fathom trying to describe who plays which instrument. The croaking echoes from section to section, as the chirping backs the bass jumping from one stanza to the next. The trees sway cautiously, very dim shadows licking the ceiling of this shelter, conducting in the most pristine of pieces.

***

When i left Stevens Point this AM, the sky was slightly fuzzy with clouds only on occasion masking the warm sun. Sunblock was not going to be enough today, with relentless rays and my pasty white limbs joining forces to mark the inevitable down.

Heading west, straight into the never ending wind, i wove through small towns with county highways as my thread. The memories and impressions stamped down and left behind will be eternal, despite how small they seem.

The hills began even before i reached US Highway 10. They were steep and appeared often. The wind was now also gusting, preventing the needed building of momentum to go up a hill from the previous downhill. The only relief from the wind was traveling North, but that all ended once i took a detour around a broken bridge. Reaching US-10, it was straight traveling west until reaching my destination of the junctions of US-10 and WI-27/US-12 in Fairchild.

At one point, i was so tired and beaten down from the frivolous climbing of hills and pushing against the wind, doubt set it. I was in a very bleak area, a state forest, with few cars and less roads. It all just looks the same when you start the motions of giving up.

I don't want to do this anymore...
Who can i call to get me...
After Minneapolis, i am going back to Appleton. I cannot deal with this every single day...

But, rationally thinking about it, is there really anything in Appleton for me? With the exception of friends, beaners, the bike store, brewed awakenings, and other places i like to visit, there is an entire world out here! I can't stop here, i can't stop now. What better time than now? What better place to feel better than here?

I was stopping too often to rest. One last time i contemplated stopping early, setting up camp for the night, but i convinced myself to push onwards. I was reaching complete exhaustion when i received another jolt of energy. Pushing on, i was starting to see signs that i was going to be emerging from the premature forest. It actually happened very suddenly. Then there was the junction i was dreaming of all afternoon! And at this junction was a gas station, which i was planning on resting at, even without knowing it resided exactly where i wanted to be. This was the final portion of my attitude adjustment, which needed a serious pivot.

At this gas station, i stopped; refilled my water, stretched, and checked the map. Thirty miles to Eau Claire? I was pumped! It was only 7PM, and despite the conditions and fatigue, i met my goal and exceeded it with 90 miles covered. I called Shari because i was so excited about the good news. The plan was to bike the remainder in the AM and meet Shari at her work before 2PM. But first, my next plan was to find a place to sleep, and fast! The early evening showers were moving in from the west, and i wanted to be pitched before it began.

With my new confidence boost, I traveled for another half an hour or so before deciding on an appropriate spot. I found a sheltered high ground, behind a power station dingus on the opposite side from the road. And, on the low ground, plenty of cover from a light marsh area - residence of the orchestra. The marsh area was just enough to block sight from the house across the street that lay perpendicular to WI-12. Shortly after setting up camp and jumping in the tent, I began to hear the pattering sound that accompanies rain.

Now, the rain falls in sheets following strong gusts of wind. If i do not blow away, i have thirty miles and 15mph winds with 35mph gusts to welcome tomorrow. This is why i pushed so hard in 10 mph winds today; it will make my journey much shorter tomorrow and i will maintain more energy for the festivities tomorrow evening. My trip tomorrow is straight North-West, directly into the wind once again. At least it seems mildly flat in this area.

Brown-Eyed Devil, Catalyst of Dreams

And yet, she robs me in my time of sleep. I leave all weight in the past, and yet she plagues this man, if I can even dare to call myself that. To no ends is she ever satisfied to leave me be. Why did we connect in such a way? I thought that ship's hull was blasted and what we had now rests at the bottom of the deepest darkest sea. But when I wake at night from her company, my suspicion states otherwise. I have had desire, in more times than once for others, but nothing has struck this heart quite like this menace has! Forevermore, will i be entrapped in her iron grip?

Please, oh God Almighty and powerful, release me from these stakes, i can take the restraint no longer! I pray to the devils to take her back to wherever she came. Please oh please, just let me be! The weight from this anguish is more unbearable than any fruitlessness from any existing tree! It is more mistaking than any misdeed to date, and even more forthcoming than any pain that i have yet to face.

Why did i let you, parasite, take residence in my soul? You know the code, can gain access to any port. Fucking wretched beast! Putrid decaying mess! Fleeting and wrecking rest, fore bearer of all that is reeking of distress-Me. This. Alone, without you. Forlorn without your arms, chest, torso, legs, and head. Your body and mine. Happiness becomes illusive, fleeting, when ever my attention is diverged to the likes of you! Curses!

Please, dear of past-devil that is lasting, return to me what is rightfully mine-Please give back what is frightfully divine-Love. And i do not ask for the time spent on you, that is far too much to return. I simply wish for closure to sleep at night.

*****

When Orion departed this season, I feel as though he pointed me in an interesting direction-Towards treachery. This is a direct challenge, a test of my good faith and optimistic will. It is a direct warning to stray not at all, not in any very minuscule amount, from the edge of a knife on this open field of life before me.

Correct. This challenge is mine to take. Accepted. Orion now lowers the tide; temptation and distractions now have more places to reside and more angles for diverse approach. Friend, skilled hunter from above, you are a dangerous fellow, and this is why i choose you above all to watch out for those who would attack from behind.

The seasons change, but no desire flees. Indignation of mind sets in, and it becomes ever more trying to breathe. Suffocation is marginal, because i command the skin to take in more oxygen-Breathe. There will be no death here tonight. Relax.

*****

And then what he seeks cannot be found; not here and not in this time. The will of the forsaken, yet despite the plight of momentous barriers, carries onward. The silk of skin and hands intertwined is only a resting place, because the real work-all desire in all forms, comes from a certain aspect of approach. The nature of seeking is to discover and uncover new ideas-From these, thoughts and change. What he seeks will be found soon enough, but only a portion of the knife's edge will be revealed here. Step back as carefully as possible dear friend, but move quickly and do not even hesitate to look back. Everything you need is upon you, at all times and places, with the exception of this pen-even then, we all knew you were not meant to write what you thought then onto paper. Disintegrate...

Here is the consumption of mind, unable to stop; Euphoria in its most desirable state. Fists rise up and touch the ceiling, the time is coming and it approaches quickly. Squander through the forest, move quickly as to not be seen on the floor clearing! And then despite, the python will strike in the tropical sun. Destiny and desire disintegrate: all that is left is futility, the feeling consuming most of this life all the time. Transition! Rebirth!

My friend, as an egg he waits. He waits to hatch. He waits. When the time and place are just right, he will thrust his beak at the perfect angle. Then, the shell cracked and pecking life was exposed-Festering. Waiting.

Will sleep come? Inevitably.
Will i wake? Undoubtedly.
Will She be there...? One may hope not.

*****

Listen now folly heart, hear now to my demands: open your pitiful eyes and see the cloudless sky cover and splice in half. Directly down the middle, a sick sort of catalyst will emerge. Noon time will follow the Moses-wrecking split in clouds with a hellish glow from above, where no shadows will be cast. Dust and dirt will fall from above, scatter and cover all existence. From sleep, in dreams you will heed such commands-Freeze yourself and watch what comes forth! Emergence of these fire starters will bring the world of dreams much toil, and the police of the land will panic, babies will wail to no end, and the sea will prevail; all bodies of water comforting the fall of all devils who fail to fly. No shadows will be cast.

Oh Father,
Dear Mother,
When will the chance to rest finally come again? Orange-azure fuck to grey; the petulant need for air follows immediately.

"Can't you ever be serious? People are suffering and dying here!"

Simply, Move on and forth. The wings and horns were covered by your clothes, and when i stripped them from your body, those brown eyes glazed my mind-Rotting to fucking nothing, a time consumed mass controlled by the strings of a puppeteer. On you beast, the comfort i gave you and the passion i received. I thought i could help, this pure mind not to be effected by devilish schemes! Why me? Why lock that gaze onto the likes of me?

I thought I made you melt, you fucking priss-I thought you loved as i did.

Wrong again.

Shoulder sink to chest-

Taste that sensual warmth,

Shudder to no end!

Feel perspiring flesh.

Using my body to subdue the mind-

Moan, scream from heart and lungs

Pierce everything that i have!

Sink your teeth into my porous skin, my neck,

Suck me dry tonight.

Goodbye.

*****

Orion sleeps again, leaving me to contest with this head-Mind, ego, and soul; all as one, with or without this body and heart to direct physical direction or circulation of blood and thought.

The cycles never sleep; ever moving, ever changing. Persistance leads on. In one year i have seen so much but have not felt enough.

So here i am.

This body strains from a virus i care nothing of. Besides physical limitations, i feel it not at all. The cavernous dark and wet wipe all doubt from my mind. The heart can do miraculous things when in it resides bats, eyeless fish, and various layers of stratum and sediment. All that can find no other place to run off like water resides here-unseen, swelling with anguish, and waiting.

She will have time to show her face, and i will vanquish her. No hesitation. Her earthy eyes will plead and her smooth arms will swarm her circumference with protest.

And i will be rid of her.

And i will smirk.

Then i may return. I can once again meet the beauty of cerulean. The cellaret of my heart may now truly contain worthy intoxicating vices, and i will welcome the comfort of mother moon and sister stars, for a time. I swear, by the time of next Orion-rise, I will be rid of that Brown-Eyed Devil, catalyst from the caverns of heart and dreams.